 TOP TEN REASONS WHY FED WAS UNAVAILABLE
10. |
The cleaning droid needed somewhere to plug in
its vacuum cleaner, so it unplugged the computer. |
| 9. |
Two
words: Pirate activity. |
| 8. |
Mercury
was in retrograde. |
| 7. |
The
Martians succeeded in invading our host system. |
| 6. |
Ming
caught a cold. |
| 5. |
Horsell
was rewarded the TTTT. |
| 4. |
The
Society for Real Planet Names got an injunction
against Fed because of Castillo. |
| 3. |
Bella
had a fit of vagueness and hit the wrong button. |
| 2. |
The
computer was taken away by the FBI to analyse a
number of suspicious stains. |
| 1. |
IB
forgot to feed the gerbils and the generator
failed. |
TICKENEST
RETURNS
Yeah, I'm back. I know you were all
concerned about me, but in reality I was just taking
another one of my two-month breaks from writing. Now, I
actually am on my Spring Break, but, like the good
student that I am, I'm still toiling away.
Ok, time to get down to business. I
think that it's about time someone fixed all of the
errors and misconceptions abounding in Fed. And I think
that that person is I. Ok, fine, I'm just out for a cheap
laugh. But a laugh is a laugh is a laugh... I think...
TOP TEN
FED CORRECTIONS
by Tickenest
| 10. |
For
453rd time, it's not a skirt, it's a kilt! (N.B.
I have officially killed that joke.) |
| 9. |
No,
you won't find the GM under the altar on Mars. |
| 8. |
He's
actually in the Transuranics room on Titan. |
| 7. |
Krystal
the Muse is only collecting recipes, so stop
being so nasty towards her. |
| 6. |
Hazed
shot the sheriff, but she did not shoot the
deputy. |
| 5. |
Sex
change operations are actually quite jolly, once
you get used to them. |
| 4. |
Godot
actually gets up and goes to the loo when no
one's looking. |
| 3. |
That
incriminating photograph in CDs is a complete
forgery. Really - it is. I wouldn't lie about
something like this. Honest. |
| 2. |
No,
Fed is not run on a Commodore 64 with a couple of
hamsters turning a wheel to supply the power... |
| 1. |
It's
actually run on a 286 with 64K RAM and a 2400
baud modem in Alan Lenton's basement. |
QUOTES
OF THE MONTH
Your comm unit relays a message
from Tickenest, "No, wait. I used to be witty. Now
I'm just dour."
Your comm unit relays a message
from Horse, "Well I'll be a horse's ass!!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Crocuta, "lol.
You've been running around looking for the GM and you've
been a tradert for about the last half an hour !!
LOL."
Your comm unit relays a message from Speedyx,
"rofl!!!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Horse, "Shut
up!"
Your comm unit relays a message
from Montag, ":::Grabs Rockwell by the neck in a
headlock::: :::Pulls of his wig::: He's a man...
MAN!!!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rockwell, "You
son of a....! I'm a woman!"
Your comm unit relays a message
from Montag, "So how's Fed tonight? ..........Lid
still on tight?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Littleangel,
"Lid???"
Your comm unit relays a message from Danny, "Yeah.
Fed's all-natural with no preservatives, ya know. Gotta
keep it sealed."
Your comm unit relays a message from Montag,
"::nods:: You know you have to keep the lid screwed
on tightly, lest it go bad."
Your comm unit relays a message from Danny, "Ever
seen a tub of mayo left out in the sun? That's Fed
unsealed."
Your comm unit relays a message from Danny, "That's
what happened on AOL ya know."
Your comm unit relays a message from Montag, "We're
already on the brink. ;)"
xt I don't know if the lid is screwed on or not. but i
know that fed is screwed
There is a brief hum from your communicator.
Your comm unit relays a message
from Jdawad, "Take my s'mores, Kill my family,
Delete my planet. BUT DON"T STAND BETWEEN ME AND MY
BLOODWINE. Hi everyone."
Your comm unit relays a message
from Slicer, "The difference between men and women:
500 groats."
"We better turn out the sun
before we leave", says Phish.
Your comm unit crackles with a
message from Aphrodite, "<---- Takes Zeus'
Throne"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Zeusgod,
"Make sure you flush Aphro... and put the seat
up"
Magesmiley: :::lets see if I can
screw up another character this week:::
MOODS
OF THE MONTH
Some vandal has rudely scribbled:
Jaime has just arrived.
The cat to tickle the ladies' Fancy
has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.
(Editor's note: A sure sign the
newbies are returning)
The proud posseser of a lamp, Borgfury is here.
above hauling Jdawad is here.
POSTS
OF THE MONTH
211163:694 - Defiant: Why does
everyone keep asking what my Ex's Rolls are like, My
ex-girlfriend is not Fat!
211164:217 - Jessa: To all owners
of unpainted ships: Did you you know that ships that
CLAIM to be manky gray have actually been invaded by
Manky Gray mold! This mold plans to take over the galaxy,
maybe even the universe! However, this mold is easely
killed by the m
(Editor's note: Drat, she ran out of space for the
message; now we'll never know how to kill the mold.)
ACT OF
THE MONTH
Carrying a bag of spots Dalman has
appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.
Dalman digs around in his bag of spots.
Dalman has given you a camping spot.
Carrying a bag of spots Dalman has just vanished.
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